Life Mostly Sucks

 I am not me the person you see is a fake an imposter wearing a masquerade mask An actress if you will who is broken inside it hurts how we all just go on with our lives but no one notices my misty eyes or the weak half smiles meant to disguise my pain and disgust they are my guise how my life always means being down on my luck no one can help me no one gives a fuck I can barely function yet I am here for who? for what? I take it minute by minute I don't care Yet I do care For some small reason I am still me the good soul inside just beaten, broken, angry I don't want to die but don't care if I do what is the point I wonder it seems so cruel live for others please them as trained puppets do I've given up on trust I've given up on trying I still have love, but love is dying I am a mystery no one really knows the person inside it's all a show Do I really matter? It rarely feels that way Tired of being abused by others Fakeness is the word of the day Cynical the bl...

 Many people get excited by getting a new cell phone.  Not me, and that is why I held on to my last one for almost 5 years (a dinosaur in cell phone age) and it ended with the phone dead and me broken. I was trying to be frugal.  Brand new phones are expensive and my old one worked.  (I will not say GOOD!)  Now I realize I could have gotten a cheaper but way better used one and saved myself so many headaches.  First problem with a new phone is that it needs a new case because it's slippery and just begging to be dropped and broken.  It took a whole morning for my overthinking ass just to order new cases and get my ringtones back. Now everything has to be set up again. Make sure it has anti-virus.  I need to back everything up.  Connect to wifis.  Re-sign into everything because nothing recognizes me, especially my favorite shopping sites with saved shopping bags. Shazam along with my favorite songs is gone.  I don't have time for th...